Sports, my Waterloo

Sports and I, we're not a good team. K.. bad puns (and lousy grammar) aside, I'm obscenely bad at sports. So bad, that I'm injurious to YOUR health. Really. I kid you not. I once broke my friend's fingernail while playing basketball. Not the pretty ,'Oh my manicure' kinda nail breakage. Oh no.. it was the bloody, potential infection type.. the really fun kind. Ooh.. she was mad then.. The fact that we're both still best-est friends is testament to what a nice person I am.. or She is (you chose.)

It always bothered me tat I was so dismal at sports. Any kinda sports.. basketball, football, cricket, even foozball. I mean, I'd gladly give up my learning-to-read-by-myself, never-had-to-study-for-a-math-exam-till-college brain (the pinnacle of scholastic achievement I know. Pff) Yes, I'd gladly give it all up just so I could be phenomenally good at sports. Or even marginally, for that matter.

The other day I was 'attempting' to play foozball in the break-room at work. So some young, hot-shot-like nerdy boys decide to play against me. No prizes for guessing who's ego/pride/self-respect died a painful, painful death.

When I was younger, it bothered me SOO much that I couldn't imagine guys having crushes on me. All because i was soo athletically challenged. The first time I was 'asked-out', my reply was 'I can't throw, I can't catch, I can't run, I can't hit. Can you deal with that?' (I thought it was really cool at the time.. i wasn't too bright as a child) I was so petrified of people finding out my evil secret ( like I've said before, i obviously wasn't too bright as a child) tat I never played anything at all. Shivonne, my sister still teases me for reading Tinkle at a beach picnic instead of playing.

Well, things have changed now.. comparatively at least. I'm still pathetic at any kind of sporting activity. And I still freeze at the thought of competitive sport playing. But I've learned to let go.. to an extent. Maybe one day I'll find a sport I'm really good at. Maybe I'll get over my lame-ass paranoia. Till then I shall take heart.. I kick ass at thumb-wrestling.