I did not watch the Bucket List. So, in honor of that, I present to you-
“Sheryll’s Funky List of Things She Wants to Do/Learn… Eventually”
1. Learn to cook regular food… after all, man does not live on cookies alone.
2. Figure out how to wear a dupatta. My dupatta and I are like Oscar Wilde and the wallpaper in the room he died in– One of us has to go.
3. Learn all that I can about cars so that I’ll never get ripped off by another mechanic again! Right now, all I know is that the left wheel’s connected to the tail bone, and the battery’s connected to the femur. Wait. No. Huh?
4. Learn to play the guitar. Who knows? I might become the next Steve Vai, or the next Sid Vicious, or… Nancy.
5. Learn basic DIY skills and be able to fix things around the house… just to be able to say ‘Can I fix it? Yes I can!!’ (Bob the builder’s my hero.)
6. Learn to be competitive about things that matter, like my career and volleyball, instead of at things like charades and impromptu ‘walk-races’ with unsuspecting strangers.
7. Learn to not get monster annoyed when people call me ‘that girl’.
8. Learn to ride a bike. How awesomely bad-ass would I be then??
9. Learn to ride a bicycle. Yes. Yes. I am ashamed. But I was afraid of bicycles as a child. My brother tried to run me over with my tricycle when I was 4. I was so traumatized. OK, so it was just my toe. I’m sensitive ok? I’m a delicate lady and if you don’t agree with me, I’ll beat you to death with my pretty pink parasol.
10. Learn to walk like a girl. I’ve been told that I walk like a man. And not a very attractive one at that. Hmph. With family like this, who needs therapy? *slowly raises hand*
In other news, my darlingest baby sister, Shivonne, turned 21 this month. Ah Shivy, my voice of sartorial reason, I’d be running off to work in my jammies if it weren’t for you. At the risk of sounding totally Juno, you’re the cheese to my macaroni, the mavvadikaya to my pappu-korra (Hey, we’re Telugu. Get over it.) You’ve always been there for me even though I constantly embarrass you with my super-cool car dance moves. And after all this time, there’s only one question I want to ask you – What IS that strange ticking noise?
