Picture Imperfect

I hate getting my picture taken. Hate it. I hate it so much that I've used the same passport photo for 5 years ... which was awkward since I had an extremely short boy cut then and looked well... like a boy. And whatever you say about post modern fashions, androgyny is not really the look for me.

I think it began when I was about 13 and went to get my passport photo taken. I went to this little studio near my house. Now getting your picture taken, especially those of the passport variety, is a pretty big deal in my family. It's this epic ordeal of hair washing and styling, make-up, a suitable outfit which wouldn't clash with skin-tone or make-up, even a dash of nice perfume (I know.. like the picture is gonna come out literally smelling like roses.. Pfff) All in all, trying to get that perfect blend of drama and subtlety.. JUST for a bleeding photo. So anyways, there I was.. 13 years old and full of hope.. walking into the photo studio and coming out, about an hour later, dejected, sad and clutching a photograph in which I looked like the unholy love-child of a cocker spaniel and a beaver, only uglier. And so it began, my intense aversion to cameras of any kind.

Things only got worse in the 11th and 12th. Then, in every picture, I came out looking like either:

1. A boy. (Wonder if my super short boy-cut style hair was the reason.. Hmmm... the mystery remains. )
2. I was really high on some kind of narcotic/hallucinogenic.
3. I really NEEDED some kind of medication.
4. An unfortunately close relative of the canine family.

Well.. u get the picture. It got so bad, that I just stopped. taking. pictures. Or if I HAD to be in one, I'd make some lame-ass face so that even if I look mentally handicapped, it would be on purpose. Ahh.. the follies of youth.

So my cousins came to India recently.. and that spurred a whole string of photo-ops. Oh, how my cup overflows with happiness and joy. It helped that I acted so insane every time we hung out that now they probably think I've the IQ of a gnat (or flea.. or like Frenchie said in Grease, 'amoeba on the flea on a dog', well whatever's lower.) You really gotta love the 'I think she's like tat only' comment. It's such a great excuse. Yay justification!! Anyways.. so pictures.. yes.. Not. Pretty. Again.. It's like every photo should come with some kinda warning. Maybe something along the lines of 'Old people, young children and people with heart disease, please avert your eyes. The following pictures might be potentially detrimental to health.'

Maybe one day technology will bless us with a camera that makes everyone look amazing. Till then, Thank God for PhotoShop.