Ex-Large

It seems that I DO have a super-power.

Turns out that yes, I am super-girl and my super-power is that I can wheeze at will. SuperGirl! Fighting the forces of evil… and for her breath since 1986. Yay me. Applications for seedy sidekicks are now available. The line forms to my left. No pushing.

But really, I can. This one time, I was watching America's Sweethearts and there's this one scene where John Cusack runs up this pretty steep-ish hill-like thingie, and he was NOT at all winded by all that activity. I was so surprised and awed, that in the ultimate psychosomatic turn of events, I got out of breath instead. (I only just realized that they could have been two separate scenes filmed at two completely different times. Hmph.) Or more recently, I was talking to boss the other day, while climbing up a very short flight of stairs, and suddenly I thought ,"Wait. Some people would get tired walking up these steps, right?"... and consequently lost my breath. Huh.

Fitness has always been a sore point with me. Really. I even injured my humerus. It's not funny. I've tried just about every possible method short of surgery to help me lose weight. (For those of you I haven't met, or those I HAVE met but are living under a certain rock, I must admit, I am a tad erm…'rubenesque'.) I've tried everything from the no-carb diet to the no-dinner diet, from swimming to jive lessons (For those who care, two left feet baby!) One time, I even considered eating all my food with chopsticks! Yup, when it comes to weight loss schemes, I've been there, done that... for a couple of days at least. The Lord may giveth, but sometimes the 'taketh away' bit ain't half bad either.

So I'm starting a new fitness thingamajig tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll actually stick with it... for more than 3 days this time. But I shall persevere! I shall overcome! Like that charismatic, young leader often says, 'Yes, we can!' Obama says it too. I wonder if Bob the builder was his campaign speech writer. Or maybe, they're both the same person! Think about it, we've never seen them both together at the same time, have we? Cue Twilight Zone theme music and Voice-over: Picture this, if you will....
Doom doom doooom.