Trans-mortification

Trans-mortification (noun)- to be so ashamed that one wants to transform into another entity.
Sound familiar? Welcome to my childhood.

My life is one long trans-mortification after another, and I remember every single one of them. Here are a few.

5th grade- My very soulful rendition of 'All the colors of the rainbow'.
I found out from the recording. I did sound like a cat dying.

6th grade- Uniform skirt shows more loyalty to bench than to wearer.
My teacher asked me a question. I stood up. My skirt did not follow. Praise God for petticoats and overly-prudish mothers.

7th grade- Finding out why I was so good at musical chairs.
No one wanted to get in the way of my big caboose. I once pushed this guy out of the chair at a Christmas party. (I get ruthless while playing musical chairs.. who'd have thought?). We found him three days later under the tree. I used to have a huge crush on him. He never DID ask me out. Go figure.

8th grade- Getting ready for my annual class photo.
It was just after PT, and i was vain. So I ran to the nearest reflective surface to preen and adjust my uniform. Unfortunately, that reflective surface was the window of the Chemistry lab and every single 11th grade boy saw me fidgeting with and then tucking in my shirt. That taught me the 'perils of vanity'. I learned my lesson well. If u ever saw 'High school Sheryll' or 'College Sheryll', you'd understand. No one can look like that and still be vain. Actually, u can.. but then it would be call delirium.

11th grade- Pizza Hut.
There was a Pizza Hut in a nearby township in Kuwait. That was my family's 'place'. Birthday? Pizza Hut. Good report card? Pizza Hut. Weekend? Pizza Hut. So we went to India for vacation one summer and consequently, did not go there for amost two months. When we finally did go back (by 'back' I mean BOTH Kuwait and Pizza Hut... which to my muddled, muddled mind, is the same thing) yeah, so when we entered the restaurant, the entire staff clapped. GAAH!

Today- The fall and recovery
I fell down the stairs today. In front of my colleagues. I thought I recovered pretty well because I literally bounced back up and struck a pose. Apparently, that was funnier than my 'tumble'. How do I know? Because after my oh-so-esteemed colleagues 'regained their composure', they told my boss. In graphic detail. Hmm... Wonder if Gemini Circus is hiring.

Obviously, you can see that I embarrass pretty easy. I am also embarrassing. Very, very. But that, like 'The Cat in the Hat', is a different story.